Our co-choices this month for the coveted, unsought for, yet profoundly appropriate, Black Boot Award sit in high seats of government. The recipients are Congressman Dennis Hastert (R-IL), Speaker of the House and Congressman Richard Gephardt (D-MO), House Minority Leader. Gephardt won the Black Boot Award last month for his televised praise of lecher—possible murderer, gay boy, California congressman Gary Condit. Gephardt had insisted that Condit is a man of great integrity (Say What?!?!?!).

Now comes Gephardt once again to prove fully deserving of a repeat performance. Exactly eleven days after the deadly Arab terrorist hijackings and explosions of the World Trade Center and Pentagon, Hastert, Gephardt and their fellow House of Representatives politicians announced the formation of an elite, new House Subcommittee on Terrorism and Homeland Defense. All well and good. But, guess who was named as a senior member of that powerful and important new Committee?…

You’ve got it—none other than leather and chains, intern-chomping pretty boy Gary Condit!

Condit now is on both the House Select Committee on Intelligence and the newer Subcommittee on Terrorism and Homeland defense.

I feel a lot safer knowing that Gary Condit is overseeing our Homeland defense and keeping a watchful eye on the terrorists, kidnappers, hostage-takers, and murderers among us, don’t you?

Congratulations, House honchos, Congressman Dennis Hastert and Congressman Richard Gephardt! By appointing Mr. Condit to this important post, you have shown us all just how much integrity you and your fellow legislators have, and just how much trust and confidence we can place in you during this time of our nation’s great war crisis.